Dear Kemi,
I
am a 24-year-old guy and dating a 52-year-old woman, who is not a Nigerian. She
also has a 21-year-old son. I am an undergraduate but everyone calls me a
gold-digger because this lady is very comfortable, a widow and we planned
getting married after my youth service next year. We are deeply in love,
complement each other and we are of the same faith. But my family is driving me
crazy.
What
do I do?
J.I
Lagos.
Nothing
wrong dating or getting married to a woman, who is older than you if it is all
based on true love. Really, if you were in any member of your family’s shoes,
you would feel and think same way. If I may ask, is the woman based here in
Nigeria? How and where did you meet? I hope it is not one of these Internet
affairs, where foreigners, especially women, are deceived into marrying
Nigerian men, who they are older than? So many advantages and disadvantages
involved in this woman-older-than-man relationship especially, when the age
difference is very wide. First, the woman reaches menopause with its attendant
effects, the man still virile and sexually active, seeks pleasure outside the
matrimonial bed, stress from a fully grown-up child, who could possibly see you
as a gold-digger too and a host of other challenges. But as an adult, I believe
you know perfectly what you want and how you want it. Just let your family
realise you are in love and not after her money. Besides, I hope you and the
woman had discussed extensively on child-bearing too. Your family’s fear could
also be due to the fact that she cannot have other children after her
21-year-old son.
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