Tuesday 30 September 2014

Broken Hearts Can Heal



Dear Kemi,
My wife is adulterous
I am 38, married for 17 years with three children. I am always travelling due to the nature of my job. But I observed that my wife is sleeping with another man and I have the details with me. Her relatives are aware of this and everyone is begging me to forgive her. I find this difficult to do because I am always unhappy anytime I remember, though I still love her.
O.P
Abuja
I have seen men/women seeking divorces just because their spouses told a lie. Some murdered spouses due to infidelity and I have seen marriages waxed stronger after settling a case of adultery. I mean your personality determines the success/break-up of your relationship. Can you still love her despite the fact that she has slept with another man? If your answer is yes, then you go ahead, love her and shake off any feeling of unhappiness whenever the thought occurs to you. If on the other hand you are not comfortable with the thought and you get filled up with bile anytime you see her or remember another man slept with her, I think you have to let go of her. But you have said you still love her and considering the fact that you both married as young adults, I believe you can still work things out in your marriage and dedicate more time to it. Who knows? Your constant travels could have made her strayed to another man’s arms. Though not an excuse for infidelity, you must carve out time to be with your family.

If she does not leave my husband…
I am 25 years, married with one daughter. There was a girl who was my school mates in the secondary school and I never knew that she was having an affair with my husband. Then, whenever I saw her in his house, I thought she was having an affair with my brother-in-law. But she is still seeing him and I don’t know what to do because I love my husband.
M.L,
Lagos
Then let that love propel you to tell him what you have observed and why he has to stop seeing the girl. I know that he will deny this but be very clever with him. Then, I think that it’s high time you discussed it with one of his family members, especially that brother-in-law of yours, who you actually thought was dating the girl. I am sure that he and his brother will act fast when they know about your discovery. If their mother is alive and you have a cordial relationship with her, then approach her about this and she can help send the girl away. That can only be possible if she does not support her son to be a polygamist.

Dear Kemi,
I don’t love my husband
I lost contact with the only man I ever loved all my life and now we have found each other. Unfortunately, we are both married but we are still in love with each other. What do I do to remove the feeling I have for him? I have never felt this way about a man, not even my husband.
E.S
Abuja
Can love be ‘removed’? Yes, it can be completely deleted from your mind when you are determined. Do I need to tell you that if you don’t stop seeing him, that love will not be ‘removed’? You are both married and this should act as a barrier to igniting old flame. Do you know that if you start any affair with him again you could both lose your homes after which you discover that you don’t really feel ‘this way about him’ but mere infatuation? I think you should avoid him, hold on to your marriage and do all you could to ‘feel this way’ about your husband. You have so much at stake in your marriage—raising godly children, sharing their glorious moments, your career breakthroughs, and a solid companionship in old age. A fling with an old flame could be a stumbling-block.

Dear Kemi,
He has too many women
I am dating a man who claims to love me but he womanizes a lot. He is a flirt and even dates two women—both young and old— on my street. Meanwhile, in his home town, he is dating a lady and I heard he plans marrying her. He does not want to see me with any man and if he does, he would threaten to kill me. Now, I have told him that I am no longer interested but he would not let me go.
K.K,
Ibadan
I still don’t believe that some women could be in love and remain blind. He is a chronic skirt-chaser and you are not married to him, so what stops you from taking a walk from such a relationship? That he is begging you to hold on to the relationship is part of his selfish schemes to eat his cake and have it. What if he ends up with the woman in his village, what will you do when the deed has been done? Though you have not indicated your age, I assume that you are no longer growing younger and there is need for you to have a re-think on what you want in life and strategies of walking out on a selfish man, who also wants to waste your life, without looking back.

Dear Kemi,
My parents want me married!
I am 31 years and dating a man who loves me dearly. Lately, I have been facing stress from my family who want me to be married. This guy has not proposed yet. What do I do?
L.O,
Lagos
Let them know you cannot force a man to marry you if he has not proposed. Meanwhile, don’t rush things with this guy so that he does not see you as being desperate and he now runs away. If he loves you and you have the qualities he desires in a woman, he will propose to you. Till then, be of good behaviour and don’t allow that pressure from home get you agitated. Such pressures can be overcome with patience and lots of prayers.

Get a Spouse



1.Sex/age/profession: Man, 29, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Osun, dark-complexioned, a Moslem, single and based in Lagos
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Moslem, single and could be based in Abeokuta and Lagos. Age could be between 26-33 years.
Contact: 08189976599

2.Sex/age/profession: Woman, 30, unemployed
Other details: Nigerian, Ondo, average height, pretty, dark-complexioned, separated and a Christian
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, and age could be between 35-53 years.
Contact: 09035920711

3. Sex/age/profession: Man, 36, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Kwara, 6ft, separated, a Moslem and based in Lagos
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, south west/middle belt, educated/employed/into business, Moslem/Christian, and age could be between 25-34 years.
Contact: 07051344438

4. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 28, employed
Other details: Nigerian, 5ft, fair-complexioned, a devout Moslem and single
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a practising Moslem, caring and must be based in Abeokuta/Lagos. Age could be between 33-37 years.
Contact: 07037120413


5. Sex/age/profession: Man, 41, employed
Other details: Nigerian, south east, 6ft, fair-complexioned, a Christian and single
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, any tribe, educated/employed/into business, a Christian and age could be between 25-37 years.
Contact: 09090387112


6. Sex/age/profession: Man, 59, into business
Other details: Nigerian/Canada, 5ft 5”, south-west, a Christian and single
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, and age could be between 30-35 years. She should be willing to relocate.
Contact: 08183160181

7. Sex/age/profession: Man, 50, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Anambra, 6ft 2”, fair-complexioned, single, and a Christian
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, could be single with kids, and age could be from 25 years above.
Contact: 08074665988


8. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 30, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Ogun, 5ft 2”, single, fair-complexioned, a Christian and based in Shagamu
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, and age could be between 45-60 years.
Contact: 08160828405

9. Sex/age/profession: Man, 32, employed
Other details: Nigerian, south-east, 5ft 7”, dark-complexioned, single, a Christian and based in Ogun State
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, south-east/west, educated/employed/into business, fair-complexioned, a Christian, and age could be between 25-30 years.
Contact: 07085057351



10. Sex/age/profession: Man, 49, into business
Other details: Nigerian, Kwara, 5ft 6”, dark-complexioned, a Moslem and based in Lagos
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, fair-complexioned, a Moslem, romantic and must be based in Lagos. Age could be between 30-40 years.
Contact: 08082108948























Get a Spouse



1.Sex/age/profession: Woman, 46, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Ogun, fair-complexioned, a Moslem, single mother and based in Abeokuta and Lagos
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Moslem, single/widower, and could be based in Abeokuta and Lagos. Age could be between 46-60 years.
Contact: 08062106402

2.Sex/age/profession: Woman, 33, self-employed
Other details: Nigerian, Oyo, 5ft 2”, pretty, dark-complexioned, single and Christian
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, and age could be between 40-70 years.
Contact: 08145700945

3. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 29, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Oshogbo, single, dark-complexioned, homely, jovial and easy-going
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, any tribe, educated/employed/into business, romantic, responsible, and age could be between 38-58 years.
Contact: 08140608482

4. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 30, employed
Other details: Nigerian, dark-complexioned, average height, fair-complexioned, a Christian and single
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, and age could be between 38-56 years.
Contact: 09091538524


5. Sex/age/profession: Man, 32, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Delta, 5ft 3”, dark-complexioned, a Christian and single
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, any tribe, educated/employed/into business, a Christian and age could be between 30-35 years.
Contact: 08053284963


6. Sex/age/profession: Man, 34, into business
Other details: Nigerian, south-south, a Christian and single
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a truthful Christian, and age could be between 28-32 years.
Contact: 08078788728

7. Sex/age/profession: Man, 52, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Kwara, 5ft 6”, single, a Christian and based in Lagos
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, south west, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, could be single with kids, and age could be between 30-45 years.
Contact: 08102112292


8. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 28, self-employed
Other details: Nigerian, Delta Igbo, 5ft 2”, single, fair-complexioned, a Christian and based in Ibadan
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, and must be based in the south west. Age could be between 30-36 years.
Contact: 07086931558

9. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 30, employed
Other details: Nigerian, south-west, 5ft 6”, dark-complexioned, single and a Christian
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, homely, caring, a Christian, and age could be between 36-53 years.
Contact: 08102892579



10. Sex/age/profession: Man, 54, into business
Other details: Nigerian, south-east, 5ft 6”, fair-complexioned, separated, a Christian and based in Lagos
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, 5ft 3”, a widower, a Christian, and age could be between 36-43 years.
Contact: 07065557964/08057002189























Get a Spouse



1.Sex/age/profession: Woman, 46, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Ogun, fair-complexioned, a Moslem, single mother and based in Abeokuta and Lagos
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Moslem, single/widower, and could be based in Abeokuta and Lagos. Age could be between 46-60 years.
Contact: 08062106402

2.Sex/age/profession: Woman, 33, self-employed
Other details: Nigerian, Oyo, 5ft 2”, pretty, dark-complexioned, single and Christian
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, and age could be between 40-70 years.
Contact: 08145700945

3. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 29, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Oshogbo, single, dark-complexioned, homely, jovial and easy-going
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, any tribe, educated/employed/into business, romantic, responsible, and age could be between 38-58 years.
Contact: 08140608482

4. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 30, employed
Other details: Nigerian, dark-complexioned, average height, fair-complexioned, a Christian and single
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, and age could be between 38-56 years.
Contact: 09091538524


5. Sex/age/profession: Man, 32, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Delta, 5ft 3”, dark-complexioned, a Christian and single
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, any tribe, educated/employed/into business, a Christian and age could be between 30-35 years.
Contact: 08053284963


6. Sex/age/profession: Man, 34, into business
Other details: Nigerian, south-south, a Christian and single
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a truthful Christian, and age could be between 28-32 years.
Contact: 08078788728

7. Sex/age/profession: Man, 52, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Kwara, 5ft 6”, single, a Christian and based in Lagos
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, south west, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, could be single with kids, and age could be between 30-45 years.
Contact: 08102112292


8. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 28, self-employed
Other details: Nigerian, Delta Igbo, 5ft 2”, single, fair-complexioned, a Christian and based in Ibadan
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, and must be based in the south west. Age could be between 30-36 years.
Contact: 07086931558

9. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 30, employed
Other details: Nigerian, south-west, 5ft 6”, dark-complexioned, single and a Christian
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, homely, caring, a Christian, and age could be between 36-53 years.
Contact: 08102892579



10. Sex/age/profession: Man, 54, into business
Other details: Nigerian, south-east, 5ft 6”, fair-complexioned, separated, a Christian and based in Lagos
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, 5ft 3”, a widower, a Christian, and age could be between 36-43 years.
Contact: 07065557964/08057002189














1.Sex/age/profession: Woman, 46, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Ogun, fair-complexioned, a Moslem, single mother and based in Abeokuta and Lagos
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Moslem, single/widower, and could be based in Abeokuta and Lagos. Age could be between 46-60 years.
Contact: 08062106402

2.Sex/age/profession: Woman, 33, self-employed
Other details: Nigerian, Oyo, 5ft 2”, pretty, dark-complexioned, single and Christian
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, and age could be between 40-70 years.
Contact: 08145700945

3. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 29, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Oshogbo, single, dark-complexioned, homely, jovial and easy-going
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, any tribe, educated/employed/into business, romantic, responsible, and age could be between 38-58 years.
Contact: 08140608482

4. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 30, employed
Other details: Nigerian, dark-complexioned, average height, fair-complexioned, a Christian and single
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, and age could be between 38-56 years.
Contact: 09091538524


5. Sex/age/profession: Man, 32, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Delta, 5ft 3”, dark-complexioned, a Christian and single
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, any tribe, educated/employed/into business, a Christian and age could be between 30-35 years.
Contact: 08053284963


6. Sex/age/profession: Man, 34, into business
Other details: Nigerian, south-south, a Christian and single
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a truthful Christian, and age could be between 28-32 years.
Contact: 08078788728

7. Sex/age/profession: Man, 52, employed
Other details: Nigerian, Kwara, 5ft 6”, single, a Christian and based in Lagos
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, south west, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, could be single with kids, and age could be between 30-45 years.
Contact: 08102112292


8. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 28, self-employed
Other details: Nigerian, Delta Igbo, 5ft 2”, single, fair-complexioned, a Christian and based in Ibadan
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, a Christian, and must be based in the south west. Age could be between 30-36 years.
Contact: 07086931558

9. Sex/age/profession: Woman, 30, employed
Other details: Nigerian, south-west, 5ft 6”, dark-complexioned, single and a Christian
Spouse specification: Man, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, homely, caring, a Christian, and age could be between 36-53 years.
Contact: 08102892579



10. Sex/age/profession: Man, 54, into business
Other details: Nigerian, south-east, 5ft 6”, fair-complexioned, separated, a Christian and based in Lagos
Spouse specification: Woman, Nigerian, educated/employed/into business, 5ft 3”, a widower, a Christian, and age could be between 36-43 years.
Contact: 07065557964/08057002189