Victim Of Domestic Violence, Zainab, Wife of Rich Oil Magnate, Abdulsamad, Narrates Her Story (Divorce Diaries)

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Zainab Mai Pampo, was married to an oil magnate in the north, Abdulsamad. Now separated, she narrates her experience  of domestic violence suffered in the hands of her husband:

“MY NAME IS ZAINAB MAI PAMPO. I AM 26 YEARS OLD. I AM FROM YOBE STATE. I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE MY DIVORCE DIARIES WITH YOU.

I got married very early in life. I was in my first year in the university. I married my distant cousin, AbdulSamad (Abdul). I hardly knew him, to be honest. But it was the Fulani way; we were arranged for each other. Everyone said I was lucky. They said he was a nice man, a religious and pious man and that he would make a very nice and caring husband. Abdul was well educated in expensive schools in Europe, and had a good job in the oil and gas industry.

He had been fighting his family over a Hausa girl he wanted to marry that his family didn’t approve. He was the only child and his mother had insisted he had to marry from good roots. His family insisted he couldn’t marry his girlfriend, because she was not Fulani. She was a `kado` (savage non Fulani) and therefore unsuitable for a prestigious family like his. Because of this reason, his mother went on the lookout to find a suitable girl. And that is how I was selected to be his bride; I didn’t even know my mother and his mother had agreed.

I had been on a trip to Macina, our village to see my grandparents. By the time I returned, my family was already gearing to receive Abdul and his family, for the formal introductions and engagement, all without my knowledge! I met him once before our engagement took place. I thought he was soft spoken and kind. I thought to myself maybe this wasn’t as bad as I had imagined it to be.

And just like that, I was engaged to the man. Our wedding date was set 6 months after our engagement, so that we could get to know each other better before the marriage. I was really surprised at Abdul. He was religious and God fearing but he had a very volatile temper. I complained several times to my aunts and uncles and everybody said the same thing: ‘when you become his wife, you will be able to change him, he will change his temper to please you’ or ‘just be patient, and he will eventually change’.

After my wedding I quickly realised that my husband had sold me a fake idea of who he really was. Before we got married he was all for education, after we got married, he told me I had to stop schooling. My parents knew about this because I complained to them but they urged me to be obedient to my husband and respect his wishes. I agreed to.

 

To be continued

Source: jaruma.net