Singles, Before You Say, ‘I Do’

Are you single? Itching to get married soon? Hope you have not forgotten some of these preliminary things before you make that life-long commitment. Take time to reflect on this checklist

Motives

It may surprise you to find out that your motive for wanting to get married may be different from that of your partner. You may be getting married because you love your partner, whereas your partner is only getting married out of desperation. This is the first thing you have to figure out. Are you getting married to each other for the same reasons? What do you intend to achieve or get from the marriage? Or are you seeking to get married for social reasons? Find out.

Background check

Before you propose to that lady or say yes to that man, be sure to carry out your background check to be certain that all the stories you were fed are true. You may decide to go professional by hiring a private investigator. Your intending spouse does not have to know about it. It is better to be late than sorry. It does not stop you from building the trust; rather it would give you a reason to trust your partner more if he or she has a clean record.

Medical fitness

Although medicine has clearly evolved and provided solution to most ailments, it is advisable to marry someone who is medically compatible with you. Reasons being that you may not have to spend too much money maintaining and sustaining yourselves healthwise. Also, ascertaining your medical fitness gives you an idea of what to avoid or expect if you decide to go on with the marriage.

Relationships history

Your partner may tell you that the past has been buried, but how he/she fared in that relationship might be a determinant factor to the outcome or success of your union. Are there baggage he or she is still carrying as a result of hurt? Or was your partner the villain? Old habits do not die young and chances are that he/she would bring them into your union. Be sure to clear this air before you move on.

Family ties

How your partner relates with the opposite sexes in his family could be a pointer to how he would relate with you. A lady who respects her father and brothers would definitely respect you as a husband. If your partner gets physical with his sisters, he may continue with you once you are married. Also, how do your intending in-laws behave towards you? How does your partner act around your family and friends? That could determine how successful your marriage would be.

Financial responsibility

Maturity or age is not the only determinant factor for marriage. One’s economic power also determines if a man is ready to marry or not. Financial instability is one of the major causes of broken marriages. It is better to delay the marriage until both parties are financially stable, than to get married and be divorced within a short period. A man should be responsible for his family in all ramifications. Also, how prudent is your partner? If you are extravagant, you may want to stay away from someone who is also extravagant, except if you have mutually decided to go bankrupt.

Temperament

People’s disposition towards issues should determine if you would marry them or not. Opposites attract. It is always advisable to marry someone who is not of the same temperament with you. That way, you would complement each other strongly. How does your partner handle issues? How effective can he or she control anger? These are some questions that need to be put into consideration.

Plans for future

It is always advisable to marry someone who has the same vision of the future with you. Take into consideration the vision you partner has for the future. Are they in line with yours? Do you want to have kids immediately after the wedding when your partner may not want any kids at all? Where do you see the marriage in five or ten years and what are the plans of ensuring that the plans are accomplished? Set short and long term goals and make sure they are in line with those of your partner.

Emotional maturity

Needless to say, you should get married to someone you are emotionally attached to. Regardless of age, some people are emotionally unstable or immature to handle relationships, let alone go into marriage. Not only should you partner be mature, also make sure he/she is emotionally able to handle whatever comes out of the union. You do not have to marry someone that could chicken out at any little trouble or quickly seek a divorce. Marriage is a life time affair, and for better or worse.