Indeed, celebrities also cry. For media girl, Toke Makinwa,
her life would have ended when she discovered another woman had a child for her
estranged husband, Maje Ayida. She contemplated suicide due to the humiliation!
In her book, ‘On Becoming’ she revealed that:
Excerpts
Breakups
and Makeups
Months
passed and I still couldn’t find a job (in London). And I was still
heartbroken. Maje and Anita were officially an item, and I stalked them on
Facebook. Maje would put her picture up and they would write on each other’s
walls.
…one
cold night as I got off the bus, I got a Facebook message from Maje. It read:
‘I miss you and I cannot deny or hide it, come back to me’.
We
started talking again… I convinced myself that he had changed.
Maje and I had been
together for nine years, on and off, at this point, and it had been an unending
cycle of hurt and betrayal. Every time we took ten steps forward in our
relationship, we took fifty back. Each time I gave up and let go, Maje would
come after me and hold on so tightly till I gave in.
Another
child
…
there was a 70-day fasting and prayer programme at my church. I joined in: I
was praying for Maje and I. On the final day, I prayed and asked God to reveal
why Maje and I couldn’t find peace with each other.
…I opened my email
address and typed Maje’s email address in. I had no idea what his password was
but I was determined to get into his account…. I went through email after email
until I found pictures of a boy that looked exactly like Maje….
Contemplating
Suicide
I was sitting in the
bedroom one day. There was a bottle of Dettol in the bathroom and a thought
came, very strong, “Just drink it and die. What’s the point? The whole world is
laughing at you right now. Just end it.”
Faith
The
devil finds a way to fill your head with lies when you have just gone through a
period. These lies can make you question everything, including the very purpose
of your existence. Lies like:
‘You’re
not good enough’
‘This
is the best thing that could have happened to you and now it’s falling apart’
‘This
will end you’
When this lies came,
God’s word provided a much-needed comfort and a reminder of my identity and His
plans for me.
Moving
on and Healing
Maje
hadn’t made it easy for me to move on. He’d begged like his life depended on me
staying….
And
then there were the outrageous comments:
‘Maje
spent X amount of time with Anita so she wasn’t the mistress, Toke was’
‘She
didn’t break your home, you did. You came between two people who loved each
other by marrying him’.
….
That day’s topic was about making marriage work, and it hit me so hard that I
cried like a baby. I wasn’t a virtuous woman; I was a girl! A girl with a
daddy-void so large that she had all of her issues and expectations on a man
who was still trying to discover his purpose. All my mistakes became clear to
me. I hadn’t lost my marriage to another woman. I had given my marriage to her.
While I’m not sure if
I’ll find love again, I am sure of the contentment I have found in a God who’s
got my back 100%.
Toke
will be launching On Becoming in Nigeria this Sunday, November
27, 2016.
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