Why Some Men FInd It Difficult To Get A Wife (SINGLE DIGEST)

Raphael, 33, is employed with a good pay packet. That meant getting a girl for marriage and settling down. Not only were his parents on his neck to bring his fiancée home, his siblings and friends too. “They would tender the long list of ladies I was dating. To them, I should just pick one of these and declare a wedding date but I’ve told them that making a choice of a life partner is not bread and butter,” he said. But with the bevy of ladies flocking around him at home and in the office, he should have had his pick. “I know but I must confess that I’m in a dilemma. Who do I choose? What criteria should I base my choice on? Which of these ladies has all the qualities of a wife or suitable to have my children? I would have chosen Mabel because of her pretty face and good education but I don’t know if her character was good enough to be a wife. Not known for patience, she was also too possessive for my liking. I remember the day she almost beat my sister who came visiting. She thought the innocent youth corper was my girlfriend and almost flayed her alive! It took the intervention of my friend and a neighbour before she could allow my sister inside the house! Another girl, Nkem, young, pretty but very demanding. She cooked well, kept my flat clean and excited me in bed but she was too demanding. In fact, I had to beg her to stop asking me for money or other things. To Nkem, a good sex would bring out a full purse! I made her realize that any fool could sleep with anybody and pay for that service but when you love a woman, you don’t wait for sex before you give her money or other material things. She must have grown up with this notion because even while in the act, she tried to cajole you into making promises and assuring her of fulfilling them. I would not want such a woman for a wife. Among the list was Janet, a happy-go-lucky nurse, who, though not a pretty face had the best etiquette and character. My grouse with her could be her profession. I understood that those nurses do all sorts with doctors when they are on night duties! There are other girls but I must confess that making a choice could either make or mar me. What if I made the wrong choice? I would not want a divorce in future. I really want to settle down with a good girl.”

There are three steps to be observed while in a dilemma like this. First, the man must understand the need for compatibility in the relationship. This has nothing to do with either the outward appearance or character. When you are physically or spiritually compatible with someone, you are able to make a fast decision on whether she goes to the altar with you or not. Many men have sacrificed compatibility on the altar of beauty. Moreover, the man who finds it difficult to make a choice should watch out for the lady’s ability to withstand pressures. Marriage is not like a business venture, where, if you fail, you start all over again. Though some fail and rise again in marriages, the scars remain. He has to carefully analyse how the lady copes with physical, spiritual and social pressures. Ask yourself these questions- Will she cope when there is a financial pressure? Will she cope with pressure from my relatives? What happens when the storms of life arise? These answers are answered in the various character traits of women. Some women, from their behaivoural traits, you know that they can’t cope with a man having financial pressures. They are just used to pleasures and ostentatious living. They are willing to spend your money even when opportunities arise for them to help you cut cost.

Finally, know that women are great pretenders and actors, so do not be thrilled by frivolities. A woman searching for a life-partner could pretend till she gets what she wants and start exhibiting her true personality. Though not easy to detect when a woman is acting out a script, you could still know her personality when you don’t allow love to make you blind. Don’t fall in love and be blind to her shortcomings or allow her spirituality to cover her individuality. Though not an easy task, you can still undertake it and succeed.