Ese Walter? Remember her? Remember the lady who confessed that she had an alleged affair
with the Head Pastor, COZA, Biodun Fatoyinbo, a married man, in 2013? The media went agog with the story.
She seemed to have moved on, got married had a child but was in the news again
in March 2016 when she renounced religion.
Moving on, she took to her social media account on
Instagram this morning. To do what? Married to Benny Ark, an radio presenter on
COOL FM, she confessed not to have loved her husband when they got married.
Accepting to have had issues with him on this, Ese shared her wedding photo and
said she got help (maybe psychologically) and shared her ‘testimony’
 |
| Pastor Fatoyinbo and wife |
"When
I agreed to marry him two and a half years ago, I didn't love him. Heck I
didn't love my own self. I just needed a change of story. I needed to stop
being the girl everyone called an evil mistress and "graduate" to
somebody's Mrs. I thought the Mrs title was going to save my ass and bring me
some sort of redemption. I was wrong.
Calling what happened next a disaster is putting it mildly. Weeks into living together brought out the worse in both of us. I thought I made a mistake. I didn't trust him so why was I married to him. We would argue over everything and I convinced myself I wanted out despite the baby on the way. In therapy I was able to face my own demons for the first time. I realised it was never about him or the other guys I dated. I was always looking for a fix outside of myself. I was always needing someone to take away the pain and save my lonely self. I was looking for what I wasn't because I thought that could heal me.
Calling what happened next a disaster is putting it mildly. Weeks into living together brought out the worse in both of us. I thought I made a mistake. I didn't trust him so why was I married to him. We would argue over everything and I convinced myself I wanted out despite the baby on the way. In therapy I was able to face my own demons for the first time. I realised it was never about him or the other guys I dated. I was always looking for a fix outside of myself. I was always needing someone to take away the pain and save my lonely self. I was looking for what I wasn't because I thought that could heal me.
Months of living
outside my comfort zone and going where the pain was brought me face to face
with my demons that saved me. I didn't trust him because I didn't trust me. I
couldn't love him because I had no love to give. I was always blaming him
because it was easier to project than take responsibility. As I started to
evolve and see my own self, I was able to see him for the first time. As I
started loving myself, I was able to love him and now as I learn to trust
myself, I am trusting him, one day at a time. As I lay beside him last night I
remembered a quote I read sometime ago. I don't remember who said it but it
read, "when you love the one you got, the one you got becomes the one you
love."
 |
| Pastor Fatoyinbo and Ese |
When I stopped trying to change him and let him be, I was able to
give room for his own evolving. He ain't perfect. Who wants perfect anyways? I
am learning that all is as it should be in the Universe, there are no mistakes
only feedback. The Universe brought the one I needed for my evolving and I am
thankful. GRATITUDE is my dominant feeling this morning. If you are struggling
with the one you love, know that the world's standard of love is fucked up.
Vibrate higher and love because of love.” (sic)
No comments:
Post a Comment