LOVE MATTERS

DEAR KEMI,

I don’t trust my wife!

 

I am in my mid 30s and married to a woman, who is of same age for about five years. I am based abroad while she is in Nigeria. The problem I am having is that I just don't trust her! I always feel she is sleeping around.

Really, I don't have any concrete proof for my suspicions but it has always being there from the beginning of our courtship before I left the country and returned from my base outside Nigeria to marry her. When I told her about my suspicions, she denied all the allegations and always had ready-made answers to every question. Sometimes, I wonder if I was charmed into marrying her. Is this normal? Please, help, I am really troubled. 

 

H.I.G

Since you have not caught her with any man or got reports from anyone about your wife’s illicit affairs, I think you have to dismantle the mind-set of infidelity in you. In any relationship, especially where the two partners are not living together in the same place, there are cases of suspicions and rumors. It is now left for those involved to be determined to make the relationship work. Why not learn to trust your wife? Or are there things you have not divulged to me? That you even feel you were charmed into marrying her is wrong and could cause cracks in your home. Give her the benefit of the doubt and stop accusing her. I have discovered in most relationships, infidelity could spring up from unnecessary accusations. A faithful partner could be encouraged to having affairs when accusations abound. He/she feels I-have-been-accused-of-it-so-why-not-do-it? Trust is a vital virtue in marriage, do all you can to inculcate it in yours. Although this should not stop any form of inquiries when you get suspicious of your partner.