LOVE MATTERS

 Dear Kemi,

I’m a pastor but loves sex

I am a pastor but in the last four years, I have had to sleep with two different ladies to satisfy my sexual urges.  

 

I am a 40-year-old and my wife is 34 years. We have been married for about 12 years with three kids. The problem is that she does not satisfy me sexually and this has made me patronise other women for sex. I am a pastor but in the last four years, I have had to sleep with two different ladies to satisfy my sexual urges. My wife’s attitude is bad—she would not cook on time; she is dirty and never makes any move to ask for sex. She only agrees whenever she senses that I am angry. I love her but how do I address this issue? I want to have her in bed every day because I have stopped all extra-marital affairs since the year began. I had already confessed to her and other co-pastors and I was forgiven. There are times I want to go back to my old girlfriends due to loneliness. What do I do? I have reported her to her family members and my pastors but to no avail. What do I do?

M.I,

Ibadan

As a pastor, you are supposed to serve as an example in good works which include taming the flesh. This is an issue you must address physically and spiritually. If you don’t face your marriage and work things out with your wife, it can collapse and that will affect your ministry. Carry your wife along in mapping out the best time for sex because it cannot be convenient for a mother of three children, who also takes care of the home, to have sex daily. That means you also have to learn how to curb your sexual urges. You can be more involved in spiritual activities— prayers, fasting and a thorough study of the word of God— will help take your mind off sex for a period of time. Lastly, I think your wife also got some things wrong in her walk with God as a pastor’s wife. The two of you need a re-alignment with God and his instruction on marriage and sex.