DATING (JUST SINGLES)

Your first date, your first impression

It was obvious Donatus was excited about his first meeting with Kelly. Ever since his cousin introduced them over the phone, they had countless conversations and when she agreed to go on a date with him, he immediately fantasised about her. Having seen a few pictures of her, he summarily deduced that she was a well mannered young lady. Little wonder, he left nothing to chance when he began to prepare for their meeting—bought a new shirt and got a fresh haircut.

 “I arrived at the eatery early enough and when she walked in, I buried my head in shame. She looked so unkempt! While exchanging pleasantries, I noticed that she had an unpleasant mouth odour and stained teeth! What! This was a far cry from what I expected. I made a mental note not to see her again and left the venue earlier than I scheduled under the pretence that there was an emergency I had to attend to,” he said.

Bisi and Efe had only been friends for less than four months when they decided to see if they could grow their relationship. When the former proposed an outing, the latter jumped at the offer without thinking twice. Their destination was at a beach and all was going well (or so it seemed) until they settled down under a tent to enjoy the fresh breeze and that was when Efe’s woes began.

“We could not have any meaningful conversation. She almost bore me to death with tales of how bad her ex treated her. I did not want to shut her up because that would look rude so the few times I managed to steer our conversation towards delightful topics, I found out she was not done whining about her troubles.”

Jude would easily make the list of one of the most eligible bachelors in town. You could imagine what happened when he invited Anita to a fun outing with him. She could not keep the news away from her friends especially since the prospects of being his bride stared at her in the face.

“My heart leapt for joy when Jude asked me to accompany him on a night out,” she said. She added, “We went to this cosy restaurant in Victoria Island and after our meal, I noticed Jude was using some of his fingers to pick his teeth instead of using the toothpicks! Meanwhile, his other fingers were on my thighs! I was disgusted, told him so but got another shocker when he dropped me at home—he forced a kiss on me and reached for my breasts. Did I forget to add that he was tipsy from too much alcohol?”

Let’s get talking

A first date is any type of initial meeting between two individuals whether or not previously acquainted. It is a time to make the right impressions and being your first time together, you don’t want to make it your last.  It is sensible that you show up on time. Nothing is more inconsiderate than making your date wait. If you need to reschedule, call as far in advance as possible—at least a few hours' notice. If you're running even a little late, send a text.

While on your first date, a good look is not optional. Endeavour to wear clothes that make you feel good. New clothes always help but if not new, be sure they are clean, pressed, and fit well. Wear clothes that make you feel the most comfortable but still look presentable. First dates are not time to admit to all the vulnerabilities and insecurities that regularly beset you.

Act naturally by talking to your date as you would to a friend. This is not the time to put up unnecessary airs. You can tell jokes, funny stories and generally be yourself.

However, leave potty humour, sex stories and bodily functions at home. Ask engaging questions and be creative about it. Your date will appreciate the chance to go beyond the usual first-date subjects. Be a good listener and not a dominant speaker—A man likes a woman who isn’t a conversation hog and so does a woman.

If he talks about how all of his ex girlfriends are bitter, selfish, man-hating crones, imagine their side of the story. If he admits to not being the marrying kind, that’s valuable information to have early on as well. Be polite. Even if your date is the most boring companion, he/she still deserves your kindness and respect. Stay for one drink or more and participate in the conversation.