JUST SNGLES

 Have a bad relationship

Maurine and Victor have dated for three years. They are undoubtedly in love but always at loggerheads with each other. “Victor has refused to change from his ways. Though he is very generous and ready to give me his head on a platter of gold, he would always frustrate me with stories of his kind gestures anytime we had a quarrel. By now, his friends and neighbours knew who paid for my computer certification course! He paid N300, 000 and that has become an anthem anytime there is a misunderstanding. Whenever he frustrates me, I would pack my things from his apartment and go back home. If he does not see me in a week, he gets my friends and family members to beg me and would always refer to what he has done for me. His best line is, ‘after all I have done for you.’ At a point, I was sourcing for money to refund the debt so that I can be free! Aside that, he is never ashamed to talk to people about any quarrel we had, even intimate ones,” she says.

The same goes for Agatha. Her boyfriend, Kingsley, has a caustic tongue? Narrating her dilemma, the 30-year-old civil servant reveals: “Anytime there is a misunderstanding, he apologises but he drifts from that to chronicling all my deeds and renders advice on how to keep a mate forever. Really, Kingsley is a great guy and I appreciate him but he could scold you as if you were a child and would not mind whoever was around. I remember my last visit to his apartment when his cousin visited. We went to the market and by the time we returned to cook for him, he was angry that I was late. ‘You are just too useless! You lack sense of a wife-to-be! I hope you will change before December (our wedding date) because I may decide to call it off!’ he ranted on in the presence of his cousin! Fortunately, the little girl knew about his lashing tongue too and pacified me.”

Ben, 28, dates 25-year-old Laide, an architect. “I knew her when we were undergraduates but she agreed to date me during her youth service year. I believe I am her first boyfriend but we have not spent much time together. My problem is that she does not show any sense of commitment. It is very difficult for her to call me on phone or send text messages. Even when I send text messages to her, she would not reply and anytime we see each other, she makes no comment about them. Whenever there was a quarrel, she would never say sorry, even if she is guilty,” he laments.

Let’s get talking

There are many reasons why a relationship can go very bad. Ironically, there are many ways to make the most of any affair, especially when both parties are in love. Good habits/character and a sense of commitment/thoughtfulness are some of the ingredients to a successful relationship and partners should make room for change. Why scold a girlfriend like she is your younger sister? Why reveal to friends and neighbours intimate things all because you need their intervention? I believe men/women who brag about kind gestures rendered to partners are immature. Love gives, it shares and it also receives.