SINGLES DIGEST

WHY YOU ARE STILL SINGLE

Singlehood is a period in one’s life to be cherished, but wondering why you are still single? Here are some of the reasons

You play hard to get: Do you pretend to be busy when asked out? Or you pretend not to care when you really do? Playing hard to get makes it hard to find Mr. /Ms. Right. There is a chance that when you finally do, it would be someone who would make you unhappy.

You have stereotype issues: Some people think that men fear commitment and women are needy. That is not necessarily true. Some people are anxious and seek closeness but worry their love won't be reciprocated. Others are avoidant and shun intimacy, valuing independence above all. People who push others away or have a preconceived idea about intimacy are likely to end up single.

You still on hold on to the past: Holding on to an ex or a failed relationship makes it hard to find a new one. This is one of the reasons why people become avoidant and uncomfortable with intimacy- they push others away and compare every new person they meet with their ex. The key is to let go.

You are indecisive: If you are in a relationship but do not know what you want out of it, then you may be single for a long time. Have a mind of your own and take the responsibility of making your own decisions in your relationship. Be clear and certain about what you want and set out to get it.

You are rigid in your ‘wants’ list: Maybe you have an ideal mate or relationship in mind and are determined to find that and only that. If so, it might take a very long time. Getting stuck on finding all the qualities in your ‘what-I-want’ list is a faster way of remaining single. Be flexible in your choice, and realistic; you can never get a perfect partner. No one is.

You are stuck on ‘e-romance’: Online romances are not the real deal. They may meet some of your attachment needs, but not in a real way. They may work for some people but may not work for everyone. Meet new prospects and stick more realistic ways of meeting people.

You are scared and insecure: Some people avoid committed relationships because they worry they'll become dependent on their mate, or break up rather too soon. It may be one fear or another. They think people must retain their independence at all costs. The trick is to boldly find someone and work at it.

You do not believe in yourself: Some people think they simply are not worthy of meeting other people until they lose weight, amass a certain amount of money or achieve something. The key to overcome this problem is to believe in oneself and love oneself the way one is. There's no point in waiting.

You are a flirt: Serious people who want to be engaged in serious relationships do not play around; they get down to the real deal. No one wants to date someone who is known for hopping into every available bed.

You work nights or weekends: Some people who are looking for husbands or wives would not think of you as good material, if you work late nights and on weekends. More importantly, not having the same schedule could be a huge strain on a relationship. It may nt be easy to give up your passion or change my career for someone, but nights and weekends are when most people are free to spend time together. It could be an expressway to being single.